click* Yes! I bought...
by Sarah-FFVII
Summary: Ahem. These are the Rambles that I, as well as a two of my other friends, write/co-write. They really don't go in a specific order, but I'll try to organize them as much as possible. And, there won't be any summaries, because it'll make no sense. So there


***Sarah, Sephiroth, Bunni, Cloud, Tifa, Cid, Red, Reeve, Tseng, and Reno are all gathered around, sitting on the couches, but not watching the TV for once. Sarah has Bunni's brand-new laptop on the coffee table, and is clicking away...***  
  
Sarah- *points and clicks* Hmm..  
  
All- Oooohhhhh....  
  
Sarah- *points and clicks again* ...  
  
All- Woooooowwwwww....  
  
Sarah- *points and clicks for a third time*...  
  
All- Whoa... *stare at the computer screen*  
  
Sarah- *looks over her shoulder* Yes?  
  
Bunni- *sees Sephiroth entranced by Sarah's clicking. Grinning, she slaps his butt and looks away innoncently*  
  
Sephiroth- Hey!! Who did that?! *looks at Cloud* Was that you?  
  
Cloud- *ducktaped to the wheelchair* Can't.. move..arms..  
  
Tifa- *turns to Cloud* Did I say that you could speak?!  
  
Cloud- *hangs head* No..  
  
Red- *growls* Be quiet! This is most interesting...  
  
Sephiroth- Reno, did you just slap my butt?  
  
Reno- *monotone voice* No..  
  
Cid- #%$#^$!!!!  
  
Reeve- *in monotone, mocking Reno* Yes, Sephiroth, I just love grabbing your as-  
  
Tseng- OH NO!!!! Not the mushrooms!! *giggles*  
  
Sarah- *turns again* Shut up!!  
  
Sephiroth- Who hit me? *glares*  
  
Sarah- *reading something* I did, so shut up.  
  
Bunni- Uh! *pouts*  
  
Sephiroth- *growls, sneaking his hand through a slot in the chair and pinching Sarah's butt* HAHA!! Revenge!!  
  
Sarah- *jumps up* OW!!! Sephiroth!!! *grabs her butt* OW!!  
  
Vincent- *walks in, sees Sarah grabbing herself, and leaves* ..  
  
Bunni- That was me!!! I slapped your butt!!  
  
Sephiroth- *narrows his eyes* Don't you ever touch me, girl!!  
  
Bunni- *grinning* You know you liked it... Anyway, I can touch you in other places too if you'd let me... *wink*  
  
Sarah- *rolls her eyes, then glares at Sephiroth, still rubbing her behind* I refuse to speak to you! *grabs the laptop and leaves*  
  
Bunni- Hey!! That's mine!!  
  
Sarah- Bite me!!!  
  
Sephiroth- *sits on the couch once again, polishing his Masamune*  
  
Bunni- *frowns, then sits next to Sephiroth. Very close.* Hi...  
  
Reno- *monotone* ...  
  
Reeve- *again, in monotone, to mock Reno* I'm Reno, and I can't get any.  
  
Tseng- *grins, clawing at imaginary monsters in the air*  
  
Red- *purrs*  
  
Cid- That's %#^%^ right, dogcat! That $$$%#%^^!!! Shinra can burn in hell for all I care!!  
  
Reeve- *sniffles* Hey!  
  
Cid- *throws his cigarette at Reeve, hitting his eye* HA!! $#%$#!!! Shinra!!!  
  
Reeve- Ow! My eye!! *runs off to the restroom*  
  
Tifa- *produces a brush* Cloud, brush my hair.  
  
Cloud- Can't move... my.. arms..  
  
Tifa- Oh.  
  
***Switch scenes to Sarah***  
  
Rude- *walks into the kitchen*..  
  
Sarah- *looks up from the laptop, grinning evily* Hey Rude!! Come here for a minute!!  
  
Rude- ... ... ... *goes over to Sarah*  
  
Sarah- Haha! Petty revenge is so sweet. *points to the computer* Look what I just did.  
  
Rude- *looks*....You are putting Sephiroth up for sale on Ebay?  
  
Sarah- *nods*  
  
Rude- .... ...?  
  
Sarah- Oh, you hush. Just don't tell anyone I did this, okay? Or you'll be next.  
  
Rude- *pales* .....Yes ma'am.  
  
***Switch scene to Bunni***  
  
Bunni- *pouts* I want to go online...  
  
Sephiroth- GOOD!! Go, just get away from me with you and your... Go away.  
  
Bunni- *pulls on his silvery bangs* Only if Sephy-weffy will give Bunni-wunni a kissy-kiss..  
  
Sephiroth- *shudders*  
  
Reeve- *watches, snickering*  
  
Reno- *monotone* You go girl. At least you can actually get some... *sigh*  
  
Bunni- *grabs Sephiroth and kisses him, then prances away home, jumping onto the internet*  
  
Sephiroth- I have to go vomit now... *runs to the restroom*  
  
Reeve- *returns from the restroom*  
  
Reno- *monotone* Need.. alcohol...  
  
Reeve- *snickers* Should I call Scarlet for you?  
  
Reno- *pulls out his gun and shoots Reeve's foot*  
  
Reeve- OWW!! First my eye, then my foot! OUCHIES!!!!!!! *runs to the restroom again*  
  
Cloud- Can I move my arms?  
  
Tifa- NO! You are mine, and mine only!! Aeris'll never have you!!! *puts some ducktape on his mouth*  
  
Cloud- MMmpphhfff!!!  
  
Cid- *had fallen asleep* ZZZzzzzzz....  
  
***Switch to Sarah***  
  
Sarah- *watches the screen impatiently* Someone buy him already!!!  
  
Rude- ... ...Maybe no one wants him...?  
  
Sarah- Shush!! *watches, and then suddenly, Sephiroth is bought by a buyer named 'PinkFluff01'* Hey!! Some chick just bought Sephiroth!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
Rude- *pales even more*  
  
Sarah- *looks at the bidding price* OMG!! He got me 1,000,000,000 gil!!! *jumps up and down*  
  
Rude- .. ...  
  
***Switch to Sephiroth***  
  
Sephiroth- ...And that is how I will become one with the Planet. *finishes with a flourishing bow*  
  
All- *blank look*  
  
Reno- Need... alcohol... *sighs*  
  
Reeve- *returns once again* Reno, if you shoot me one more time, I'm suing!!  
  
Reno- *monotone* Don't tempt me.  
  
Reeve- *sniff* Fine, I'll go find Tseng and play Monopoly with him!! *runs out*  
  
Red- You humans are so emotional.  
  
Sephiroth- *still waiting for his appluase*....Fine. Don't expect any favors when I become God..  
  
***The doorbell rings***  
  
Sephiroth- *glares at the others* I'll get it... *goes to the door, grumbling*  
  
UPS Man- Hello. You Sephiroth?  
  
Sephiroth- Yes. I am. Now bow dow-  
  
***Two more UPS men come up and grab Sephiroth, stuffing him into a cardboard box and taking it to their truck***  
  
Sephiroth- HEY!!! Let me out of here, you idiot mortals!! I am GOD!!! I will summon Meteor to kill you all!!  
  
UPS Man #1- *kicks the box*  
  
Sephiroth- OW!!  
  
***swutch to Sarah***  
  
Sarah- *grinning evily* Hehehe.. I'm rich!! Let's celebrate, Rude!!  
  
Rude- *shrugs*  
  
Sarah- *thinks* How 'bout me, you, and Reno go to a bar? Our sucks....  
  
Rude- ... *shrugs* ..Okay.  
  
Sarah- Okay!! *grabs Rude and drags him with her to the 'Place' and finds Reno* Heya Reno!!  
  
Reno- *monotone* Hi.  
  
Reeve- *snickers*  
  
Reno- *turns and pulls out his gun, shooting Reeve's other foot*  
  
Reeve- ACK!! My foot!! I can't walk now!!! Just you wait until I get Cait Sith back from the shop!! *crawls out of the room*  
  
Sarah- ....That was very disturbing.. *shakes herself* Hey Reno! Want to go to a bar with Rude and me?  
  
Reno- *jumps up* Will there be alcohol?!  
  
Sarah- Uh.. yes.  
  
Rude- ...  
  
Reno- All right!! *runs and gets his car keys* Let's go!!  
  
***Sarah, Reno, and Rude leave to go to a bar... Switch scenes to later that night.***  
  
Sarah- *slurred* And that's how I sold Sephiroth...  
  
Reno- *also slurred* Hehehe...  
  
Rude- *adjusts his sunglasses* .. ...  
  
Sarah- *slurred* I want those!! *tries to grab them, but is a bit tipsy, so she can't quite get them*  
  
Rude- ...No. *edges away*  
  
Reno- *starts to laugh* We need to go home...  
  
Sarah- *slurred* Oh yeah... I'm mad at Rude though..  
  
Rude- ...?  
  
***The three leave the bar and go back to the 'Place'.***  
  
***The next morning***  
  
Sarah- *wakes up in the kitchen, Bunni's laptop still on and amazingly connected to the internet* Oh, my head... *closes the computer and drags herself to the restroom*  
  
***In the Place's main room***  
  
Tifa- *looks around, pushing the wheelchair along as she walks* Where is that naughty Cloud? I wonder how he keeps getting out of my wheelchair...?  
  
Red- *enters the room*  
  
Tifa- Hey Red. Have you seen Cloud?  
  
Red- *sits* No, nor have I see any of the other guys either...  
  
Tifa- They must've run away!! We have to catch them!! Come on, hound dog!! *pulls out a collar and leash, and straps Red up, pulling him outside as she searches for all the missing men**  
  
Sarah- *enters the empty room, downing a few aspirin* ...Where's everyone? It is THAT early... Only ten o'clock..  
  
***Confused, Sarah searches each room (even the boys' bathroom *shudders* disgusting.. ) and only finds Yuffie, in the kitchen, looking for materia, and Aeris, in the restroom, putting on makeup***  
  
Sarah- Aeris, have you seen any of the guys?  
  
Aeris- *jumps* guys? What guys? I swear I haven't seen ANY guys at my greenhouse!!  
  
Sarah- *backs away* Okay... *leaves the restroom* I'll check that out later... *goes to the kitchen*  
  
Yuffie- *singing* Materia~~~!! Materia~~!!!  
  
Sarah- *grimaces* Yuffie, have you seen any of the guys?  
  
Yuffie- Eh? No, but those UPS men have been coming by a lot this morning...  
  
Sarah- ...Okay. Thanks.. I'll just go do something and wait for the guys, then... *leaves, confused*  
  
Bunni- *runs in, dragging someone by a leash* Heya Sarah!! Lookie!! *giggles*  
  
Sephiroth- *muttering* I will kill you all...  
  
Sarah- SEPHIROTH?! *thinks* Oh wait.. Bunni, you didn't happen to buy him on Ebay, did you?  
  
Bunni- *pouts* It was supposed to be a surprise.. *smiles* Now I own Sephy-weffy!!!  
  
Sephiroth- *pales* Help!!  
  
Sarah- *lightbulb appears above her head* Oh no...  
  
Bunni- What?  
  
Sarah- *darts off to the laptop, connecting to the internet and looking at the screen, gaping* OH NO!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!  
  
Bunni- Hmmm.. *looks, reading aloud* Reno, Reeve, Cloud, Rude, Tseng, Rufus, Cid, Barret, Vincent, and Sephiroth... SOLD?  
  
Sephiroth- Huh? *pushes the two away from the screen, turning after a moment, his lip quivering* You sold me.. to her? *tears form*  
  
Sarah- Uh... Yeah..? I'm sorry, Sephiroth!! *hugs him* I'll buy you back!!  
  
Bunni- Like hell you will! *grabs the leash* He's mine!!  
  
Sarah- *frowns, then a smile slowly forms* And where exactly did you get the money to pay for him from?  
  
Bunni- *her smile slips* ...You.  
  
Sephiroth- *claps* Yes!!  
  
Sarah- Okay, Sephiroth, you're free to go. Just don't kill anyone..  
  
Sephiroth- *yanks off the leash and runs off*  
  
Sarah- *to Bunni* Now, to get the other guys...  
  
***And we won't even go into that!! ^_^;; Instead, all we need to know is that Sarah and Bunni both return later that night, penniless, but with all of the guys..***   
  
Reno- *wide eyed* That was a horrible experience... *shudders*  
  
Rude- .....I had fun...   
  
Reno- *rocking back and forth* There wasn't any booze! None!! I would have died!!  
  
Sarah- *hands Reno a bottle* Here, have fun. And I'm sorry.. *pats him on the head*  
  
Reno- *gulps down the alcohol like water*  
  
Vincent- Hojo bought me.... And I thought... *shudders*  
  
Bunni- Ew! Hojo's a big evil pervert!!!  
  
Reeve- That weird lady... She said that cait Sith turned her on and I.. *blanches, speaking to Sarah* I'll never be mean or annoying again!! I swear!!  
  
Sarah- I'm not going to sell you again... Well, maybe.. *sees his expression* Joking!! Just joking!  
  
Tseng- *sitting very still* I don't know how, but Elena bought me..  
  
Bunni- What did she do to you?  
  
Tseng- She muttered stuff about chocolate and stuffed olives down my throat and made me drink skim milk!!  
  
All- ... *blink*  
  
Tseng- It was horible!! *cries*  
  
Rufus- Well, Scarlet the whore somehow got enough money off the corner to get me... Good thing I had Dark Nation with me!! *pets the dog*  
  
***Switch to Scarlet***  
  
Scarlet- *at the plastic surgeon's office* How about three nights? Four? I have to get my face fixed!! I look like a %$%$& dog ate my nose!!  
  
Doctor- *moves away* ....Are you sure that you don't have and STD's?  
  
***Back to Sarah and the others.***  
  
Cid- No %^858#$$ comment!! #$#^&$%%#!!!!  
  
Barret- Yo man! Dis red lookin thang just jump ou at me and I wuz like....  
  
Sarah- Anyway.. Cloud, are you okay?  
  
Cloud- I thought I was free.. *sighs*  
  
Tifa- *marches in, dragging an exhausted Red behind her* You suck, hound dog!!  
  
Red- I'm not a hound dog...  
  
Sarah- Poor Red!! *runs over to him and hugs him* Are you okay?  
  
Red- *looks at Tifa, cowering* She's cruel..  
  
Sarah- *glares at Tifa, who is looking for the wheelchair* Animal abuser!!!  
  
Tifa- *rolls her eyes, spotting the wheelchair* AHA!!  
  
Cloud- *whimpers*  
  
Sarah- *nudges Cloud* Go and hide in my room, so she won't get you, okay?  
  
Cloud- *runs off*  
  
Sarah- *snickers*  
  
Bunni- I want my Sephy!!  
  
THE END  
  
Bunni- NO, I will NOT allow it to end without having my Sephy!!  
  
Sarah- *sighs and snaps her fingers. Sephiroth appears* There you go.. Now stop whining!! *disappears*  
  
Sephiroth- *sees Bunni* Oh no!! You can't do this to me!! I am God!! *runs*  
  
Bunni- HEHEHE!!! Bwahahahahahaha!! Muwhahahahahaha!!! *chokes*  
  
THE END  
  
  
  



End file.
